Have you ever set a goal, felt motivated, started strong… and then completely crashed and burned? Welcome to the club! Overcoming failure in goal setting is something we all face, but the good news is, failing doesn’t mean you’re doomed—it means you’re learning.
If you never failed. Who are you? Why are you reading this blog? And, you are a liar.
I guess you know the feeling, at least if you are human and not AI, hail to you my artificial friends.
Why Goals Fail (And Why It’s Totally Normal)
You have a goal, you figured out how to get there, you start your journey, and after some time you realize you are off track.
For example, you want to cross a street, you figure out you can get on to the other side by walking. You search for the crosswalk. You find it. Furthermore, you wait for the green light. Eventually, you set your foot on the street and start walking. Then out of nowhere, an SUV ignoring the red light rams into you.
You wake up in the hospital and ask yourself, how did I end here?
That happened to me.
That One And Only Time I Missed My Own Goal
No, I wasn’t run over by a car.
I just took a wrong turn because I was too focused on my phone and not watching where I go.
When I started my self-employment with the New Year, I had everything figured out. At least I thought so.
I knew I wanted to show the world, that a good system is possible. One that is fair, sustainable, and sexy.
I wanted to show that by creating a vision of this good system.
My plan was to do this with what I think I can do best. With humor and stories.
It ended up with me being a pseudo-educational podcaster, and it was a pain listening to.
I knew that in the beginning my content wouldn’t be perfect or great, I aimed for good enough. But it wasn’t even that.
I focused too much on how I can produce as much content with as little effort and time as possible.
Oops, I Did It Again: Classic Goal-Setting Mistakes
Because I am a business I have to think that way, but if the product is so bad nobody wants to buy it, I need to make a better product.
That’s why I figured out how to change the content. I wrote already five articles and produced one podcast, before I realized: This doesn’t work.
I should have realized it sooner. There were signs.
Every time I sat on the computer writing, I did a lot of other stuff. But not what I wanted to do. Or maybe I would rather not do it and that’s why I didn’t do it. I guess I have to ask the hen. Or the egg?
I spent too much time. Time I rather would have spent with my family.
Self-Employment vs. Family Time: The Ultimate Boss Battle
My daughter had her birthday a week ago. (At the time of writing this, when you read it, it will have been more than a week. But I guess you know how time works.)
It was a lot to do and I had additional appointments. It was very stressful.
And I thought I need to spend every spare time I have producing content. So I sat on my computer, procrastinating, while I should have played with my kids and my wife.
It was part of my goal of being self-employed to have more time for my family. I know, rookie mistake.
The simple math was, if I can use the time I spent before in my life absorbing job to create content, I wouldn’t have to do it in my spare time anymore and can spend the time with my family.
I am not good at math.
And, I lost track of this goal, too.
This wasn’t good for my health. Neither for my mental health because I wanted to be with my family, what I couldn’t. At least I believed so. Nor for my physical health because I sat a lot, didn’t move much and ate bad.
My goal of fitting in health routines and habits into my self-employed lifestyle was hit by an SUV.
That stressed me even more because I saw the outcome of my not so healthy lifestyle. Instead of my followers, my belly grew.
Monthly Reviews: The Secret Sauce for Success (Or At Least Less Chaos)
All of this happened because of many different reasons, but the most important one, I think, is that I didn’t do my weekly review properly.
Yes, I do a monthly review as a newsletter, to which you can subscribe here.
But I looked only at, what I did last month and I forgot to ask myself, am I doing this to reach my goal or does it help me in any kind reaching my goals?
You may ask yourself, after reading all this about my failure, what does this mean for you?
How to Get Back on Track (Without Losing Your Mind)
At first, I wanted you to show, you are not alone. Losing track of goals happens to everyone, and it’s one of the biggest reasons why goals fail.
Second, having a plan to achieve your goal is great. But do not invest too much time in planning. Just do it. (Not sponsored by Nike)
You can’t think of all circumstances that may or may not occur. Overcome obstacles when you face them. You find a way to handle them. And if not, walk around them or find another way.
Just don’t lose your goal out of sight.
Invest the time to define your goal or the vision of whom you want to be. Make it as detailed as possible. Find out whom you wish to be, who you need to be, or who you are.
Write it down or make a picture or use any other token. Put it somewhere you can see it every day. I would recommend not glueing it on to your glasses. This could complicate things.
If you see what you are working for, it’s easier to stay on track. To stay motivated, even.
This sounds a bit weird maybe, but I am convinced, it will work.
If you would rather not do it yourself, follow me to find out.
When you have crafted your goal, sit down at least every month, better every week and review, what you have done and how it helped you reach your goal.
But don’t stress yourself. If the only thing you do in a week is sitting on a couch and relax, it’s ok. You need to rest to have the energy to achieve your goals.
But please at least get up, if you need to go to the restroom.
Final Thoughts: It’s Okay to Fail, Just Don’t Stay There
You may get derailed. This is ok. It’s great even. You have the best ideas and thoughts, when you are not focussed on work but enjoy life, or do boring stuff.
Take your time. Be patient. Know what you want and who you are, and you will be alright.
Take this blog post, for example. It doesn’t add to my goal of creating a vision for a good system directly. But supports me and my journey and hopefully, you too.
I hope you like the less educational style of this blog, if it is even. It’s a journey, I am getting there.
Want to hear more about my attempt of overcoming failure in goal setting? Check out my podcast, where I dive deeper into learning from failure and staying on track.
And, I also try a new style there.
My name is Ian DeBay.
I am the founder of iandebay.com. I am a content creator, blogger, podcast, YouTuber. This is my blog where I talk about system change, sustainability and other fun stuff.
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